When I was in elementary school, I use to borrow origami books from the library a lot. I would make origami for decoration, function, and eventually profit. I charged a quarter for a cup origami so kids could neatly throw away pencil shavings after sharpening. I learned how to do so many different types of animals and cool objects that I would gift family and teachers with one daily.
When I left elementary school and entered an all girls middle school, my world changed. I left behind all my friends but was thinking I’d continue my identity in a new school. I could still maintain my integrity, my hobbies, and find like minded kids who shared my tastes in Sonic, Sailor Moon, Pokemon, and running. I would find other girls that I could relate and we would express our purest nature that made us genuine beings.
I was Wrong.
From the 5th grade till I graduated high school, I was bullied, shunned, humiliated, sexually molested, robbed, beaten, and harassed by girls. I had no friend I could turn to for support, protection, or comfort. In the eight years I endured this, I lost my integrity and a fear of rejection was birthed. With it came a world of anxiety, self hatred, a desire for extreme solitary, an escape to the online cyber world of role play, and what felt like endless years of grieving for companionship. I’d escape with gaming and anime, but that only widen the gap between me and the world to the point I forfeited my attempts to fit in. I knew I would never fit in…
100 Days Of Origami
This project is not a cry for attention. It’s not a attempt to ask for anything from anyone. This is an experiment to overcome my fear of rejection. To turn back the time to before I lost the courage to express my truest nature before fear stepped in. This is a journey to conquer my fear through the art of origami and self-expression.
Every origami will be different, with a thought process of my life from this fear. I hope to understand this fear and grasp the processed establishment. To breakdown my fear of rejection with an intuitive voice.
I want to become the friend I didn’t have to someone. A lonely girl like me, desperate for a friend.